Delivered

What seemed like living the high life became something that was death to me

My need for alcohol began drowning me

Because I would wake up everyday needing a sip

Or a pint

My ability to speak and function confined

By the bars of this jail, this second bottle of wine

My yearning for necklaces made by Tiffany

Began choking me

To the point where nothing my husband ever bought me was

Pleasing to an adequate degree

I became bitter when my neck and my wrists were not adorned

With the intricate brilliance

And my husband's love, scorned

I began to suffocate from the tight clothing I wore

My intentions to have eyes focus on my body's undulations

And movements because I loved how my curves

Could draw attention

And I became anorexic

Beauty on the outside, sickness on the inside like pure contradiction

What does my salvation mean to me?

I am now free from the tyranny of a world that wants to rule me

Men who want to bed me

And women who want to defeat me

I don't want to spend my life in competition

With my sisters, my kindred spirits, no other women

I don't want to down another drink

Just to hide the guilt of allowing

Yet another perverted, disgusting, non-committal man to touch me

I don't want to put another line up my nose

So I can stem this pain, emotional

I just want to be at peace 

With this woman I have come to terms with being

I don't buy into the hype that I have to be one way or another-

Because I find I am typical in every regard

In that I am like a rubix cube of many personalities

Sometimes serious, sometimes funny

My best pictures are taken candidly

Most times even keeled, sometimes on the brink of insanity,

With a tenacity to be better than my yesterday me,

Sometimes spiritual, despite my humanity.

A multi-faceted umpteen carat diamond-

Bravery, femininity, weakness and strength my mixture 

The Curse of Adam

Recently all these things have come to light

This new process of learning called common core has got everybody in a fight

Like, we were so used to the old way of learning

That any threat to the way things were just is unacceptable

We always say "things ain't like they used to be 

In my day we had it so great"

Yet day in day out we work to give our kids a better life than what we had

Does nobody see the contradiction or the twist in the logic

Other than me?

I mean, the way that my mind works is

I heard both sides of this current hot topic

and I asked myself

What is the big deal?

Not because I don't care, or because I'm in agreement

I just like to question everything

And find out the answers

And then make a determination

So what if my children learn something in a different way than I did?

As long as they know Truth

Can't no standards of secular education twist that

They can do what it takes to better their education

If it makes them viable for college, or a global job market

Like it says, then whether or not

I can do the math as good as them

Isn't really that much of an issue

I can learn it if they can too

But I can also argue for the other side

I'm American, I'm good at arguing

But I have argued myself until I was blue in the face against it

And aint' nothing changed

Not only that but like

People got so twisted over public education

They don't want teachers to rule our children

But they want them to be responsible for a large part of the raising process

To me it's kind of like a double standard

I mean something has got to give

And I sat and pondered
We become educated so that we can have a job
We work at that job in order to pay for our education
Supposedly we better ourselves in the process
But I have yet to see any proof of this
Spend most of our lives in some type of system
Education then work then retirement stipends...

Like, Americans in general are a slave to mass consumption

We work just to assume loans and credit

And become slaves to our debt

My 'dream house' is still literally a dream

Because until I can pay the bank off

It don't belong to me

I sometimes wonder

What it would be like

to disappear

Leave this madness called life and run away to the woods

or the mountains

Even if I do my best to live a holy life

The money I spend on everyday things goes to one side or the other in this fight

Starbucks funnels money to those who are anti-traditional marriage

A well known fact but Christians be buying this overpriced coffee by the gallon

It don't even taste that good

But I haven't had Starbucks in a minute

Gas is expensive

Big corporations have faulty and immoral business practices

Some of them even put money into the hands of those connected with terrorists

And this is my legacy, my contribution as well

Because I choose to buy

Whatever they sell

But this culture is so prevalent you really can't run from it

We just have to realize our impact on one another

is so inextricably connected.

Due to the rise in the usage of social media outlets

All of a sudden everyone is an expert in something

But nobody cares to dig deeper than the surface

We just want instant gratification

See! This guy agrees with me, I'ma retweet him

So all my followers can know and see that I am validated

Wikipedia and Google; Internet the information Superhighway 

It's a shame that we are fine with just settling for the rhetoric

It's sad when we can't think deeper than how something will affect us on a micro scale.

We are willfully ignorant

Choose a side because from where we stand

It looks like there's a difference

Politicians be good at feeding off our emotions

On a grander scale

We all just need salvation

From this beast that we have created

From others,

Ourselves

Our way of thinking.

Realize that there is someone higher 

a purpose much deeper

Than Me.

My Voice

Hear Me

I will not be silenced because of your indignation

The cadence of My Voice

Places emphasis on the situation

The inflection of My Words

Spoken a reflection

of my inner soul

A heart once broken

now mended

And whole.
So I speak clear
Though others may jeer
I will not be dismayed
I will speak with intent sharp enough
To wipe that jeer off their face

I speak my truth

Though it may be of no consequence to you

I am cognizant of my audience

I must relate importance

And power without dominance

Forgive my brusqueness

But I must insist on being persistent-

My Voice

It waivers and becomes thin not by choice

At others it booms high in rejoice

Sometimes even I am caught unaware of what's inside

Not that I purposely hide

Anything in the recesses of my  mind

It's just my heart decides when it will confide

The message inside

Express it outside by- 

my Voice.

When I put on a show of bravado

The timbre of my voice

May be somewhat low

But still you can hear it shaking though

Like at times when I'm trying to talk myself into feeling-

Braver than I really feel

My heart sometimes needs a pep talk before my true nature is revealed 

With my voice I roar in triumph

After crying and griping my way through trials

Obstacles sometimes look like Goliath

But I can be one of those hard headed chicks

Somewhat defiant

And at times I have a 'never say die' attitude

While at others, I would rather curl up in bed 

and let someone else just handle it

...my voice?

Is so funny at times

Like I can say the same word once, or twice

and they be sounding completely different like day and night
Sometimes ravaged by angst
While at others I am giving thanks
Like when I call to You.
On my knees it felt like I could never get up again at times
Only to now look back and say
I guess it wasn't so bad I mean
Look at where I am today
my voice
Drowned out by a simple whisper
Reassurance that You will always be here
You will not leave me or forsake me
I am with a hope, a comforter
You know the thoughts you have for me
Never evil; always peace
No matter what there remains a promise just for me
my voice
Reveals you are strongest when I am weak
Pure Truth I will always aim to speak

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Meditate on Your Words so I can come to grips

With the understanding that by you I find strength

I am equipped

my voice

Does nothing of any importance

If I don't speak in accordance 

With your love; some may put on a good performance

But it's all just lip service if they come

of their own volition.

I come in peace that surpasses all understanding

Lay down this sword my whole life I've been brandishing

Because now I know...

Words cut like scissors through paper

Walls become insurmountable, wounds become deeper

Souls once full of vigor now languishing

All because WE chose to speak while
 lacking the desire for self-examining.

my voice.
Will be used to bring glory to You.

It will be like a beacon for your light to shine through.
By the time my life is finished
I hope that by me they can hear you 

Life as a Meme

It’s like we live a cartoon life

With words set upon a computer generated background

That describe

Things we may be too afraid to say ourselves

Or even out loud

In front of our friends

We feel a need to disguise-

But somehow feel more comfortable expressing

By something we call memes.

I’m so sick and tired of

The pseudo-psychobabble being spewed by online bloggers

Not necessarily researched just sounds good

And/or applies to the author

And whoever may agree with his point of view

Illustrating why this ‘type’ of personality is so bullied

But it’s like we can adopt the victim mentality

For anything now days it seems

To the young man or woman just dying to find your own voice

Speak clearly when your spirit is stirred

And the more you do you will find that others may disagree or concur

Drawing lines between you, him and her

More clearly than ever before

Stop trying to fit yourself into a box

Or a particular sect of people

Because sooner than later they may discover

They don’t want to fit in with you

Find your identity and strength in something

That doesn’t negate or change your personality

But makes you better than you ever dreamed to be

Christ is my strength,

His Word is my mirror

It shows me the flaws that lay beneath the exterior

The things no meme can describe through a pretty picture

Psychological quizzes aren’t necessarily true

We all answer questions with fogged up lenses

We look at ourselves through

What would make us seem ‘the best’ in a response?

Our mind can play tricks on us

Our heart is deceitful

We feed our flesh according to our ego

But none of those things really teach us

Just affirms the best things about ourselves

That we personally have conceived

An illusion so powerful

That we sometimes gloss over

The delusions we hold to match a certain personality type

I was a psych major, I can tell the difference between real and hype

This disorder is something we all face

When our faith is misplaced

Fool ourselves into thinking we are in competition with one another

A false race

To win favor and a prize from the same ones

We wish to displace

From a high place we have raised up in our own minds

Insane.

Facebook is great

Twitter is fun

Instagram a great online photo album

But come back to reality every now and again

Only to find the same boring life

Instead of dressing up a false impression online

Why not work to make reality as great as it can seem

On a meme

On a computer screen