Mama Said

She said only those with skin like us can understand how to make US better
But I wonder why it is that those with skin like us is what caused us to search 
for salvation to begin with
Don't trust the white man is what we are taught
But if your own folks cause you pain then who is there left to trust?
It's not that we don't think that there's a better way than what we know
 it's just that we don't want others to see our shame. 
Men who shared my heritage and struggle
Were the ones who taught me I was worthless
Women who had the same affectations in their voices and words as I do
Were the ones who always made me feel like an outsider
We do wrong too
It doesn't matter what skin color reveals to our eyes because it will never reveal the truth of ones 
character-what's really inside
Ones actions in the heat of the moment may betray ones true passions
But even those are not indicative of who you are
Passions come and go
Like waters and waves they ebb and flow
Contradict what's in a man's head
Lack of logic leads to our most primal instinct
Passion and skin may as well be disposable as far as worthy judgments go
It's the daily intent
The cultivation of proper intention
And the release of ones understanding and purpose
Developed habits that become a person
My skin will not define me
And neither will my ethnicity
Though I see similarities in the beautiful slope of my, cultural sisters, eyes
She is not automatically one I choose to be aligned with.
The struggle of MY people
refer to those who know that they are in need of Him.
I don't want to be consumed with the passing tides
of society's current offense
Let me be alone to learn what I need to do to please the One who created
Everything that is in existence.
I will hate what He hates
Because His way don't change
Although ethics and morals according to OUR standard may differ
Truth says that He stays the same yesterday, today, and forever
I sometimes wish I could unzip my skin
Let them see what's underneath
Of all of us is not so different
Maybe the sight of our flesh beneath the cutaneous would be less offensive
and divisive
I say that tongue in cheek but whatever
If we were all blind
A kind word would still illuminate
If we were all deaf
A simple hug would speak volumes

Flickered Out

The light of realization

Always flares in spite of resistance

Flicker in and out

But shines in indignation

Men and women lead revolt

Fueled by waves of their emotions

Carrying anger and rage for others

Flailing arms and screaming mouths

Drowning in the ocean

They must needs justification

So they cry for Justice

War paint on faces

Only to be led even further astray

Down the path of their own way

Ignorance is not bliss

As some ignorant would say

It is merely a distraction

From facing and dealing with the pain

We put on masks just like a clown

Set flames to the edges watch the whole place burn down

And all for what?

Fear is a repercussion of 

Having no enlightenment

It comes from choosing to remain 

in a blanket of darkness

Hatred

Anger and

Bitterness

It hates the light

Because the Light displaces darkness

And gives not 

Room for a blanket

Or covering
People become shocked 

at the starkness

Of their own logic

Or lack thereof

It's like they are naked

Vulnerable

and 

Although this vulnerability comes with a price

What one receives is 

So much more valuable

Take my advice

Open your mind

Guard your heart

Our emotions are deceitful it's been that way from the start. 

Stop letting fear determine who you are

You are a Poem to me

It's like my mind is always going

Everything I see I see in Poem

Melodies of words

Cadence from ear to ear

Sometimes getting lost in a dream or reverie

You could say that about 95% of my day

Is devoted to creating

Rhymes and verses about

Washing dishes, how cluttered my purse is

You know just

Everyday things

Because, whatever I do

I can't escape it; words have such power over me

In other words, besides those already spoken

You are in everything I see

In my mind I've never misspoken

But out loud sometimes the message becomes broken

My tears of Joy, sadness or anger sometimes the token

Of having a spirit of overwhelming emotion

Toward someone as magnificent and amazing as You.

When I clean the bathrooms

I do it singing

Praises of wonder while I'm surrounded

By comet, bleach and hot water

Because there's more to everything than meets the eye

Whatever I am on the outside

It only matters what I am within

Does my smile hide my heart's cry?

Or is it a reflection

Of the joy because past hurts and sins

Have been

Washed away and now forgiven?

I want to be realistic and logical

But sometimes reality is better than my dreams though

And I am grateful, so grateful

For You

My Muse

Everything about my character I want lined up with what You do

How you think, what you see

Sometimes I feel I'm on the brink

Of going insane

Until You remind me of who I am again

So, I keep Your Name upon my lips

Your spirit flow will be evidenced

In the way I walk

The way I talk

The way I live

Until this book is fully written.

Peace

Mirror Mirrorr

I reason within reason

My personality goes with the seasons

My light may dim and flicker

But it will never die.

The pictures a distraction

Our reactions just a fraction

Of the truth and heart of the matter

Our obsession with the morbid

Our attraction to our anger

Fans the flames of destruction

Vultures feed upon blood splatters

Rumors of war

Twitterverse explaining

With what little information

it may have pertaining-

To nothing at all, really.

Our voices speak in unison

Put our words into motion

Causing yet more division

Between what's us and them.

But little do we know 

the more we isolate

The house once standing on foundation

Now broken, desolate.

Our self-righteous indignation

is merely a deflection

of the sin that we have present 

within our own existence.

Our hatred a reflection

Of our greatest fears

But I am rested

in blessed assurance

that I am not alone

And I will carry on

When I look upon this mirror

I see my face is gone.

My opinion

Is important to me,

But in the greatest scheme of things

Maybe not as great as He.

I empty myself of all of me

I want to be a reconciled
to the One that created me

A redeemed soul

Nothing less, please

and nothing more.
Sometimes laying our swords
down is the greatest act of strength in war
Sometimes reasoning is better than defeating
Sometimes a kind word turns away wrath
Sometimes it's not too late to turn back
But you only get that one chance.
The tongue of the wise
makes knowledge acceptable
Maybe they didn't receive your Word
Because your methods were contemptible
But what do I know?
I'm just a nobody, like everybody else.

Delivered

What seemed like living the high life became something that was death to me

My need for alcohol began drowning me

Because I would wake up everyday needing a sip

Or a pint

My ability to speak and function confined

By the bars of this jail, this second bottle of wine

My yearning for necklaces made by Tiffany

Began choking me

To the point where nothing my husband ever bought me was

Pleasing to an adequate degree

I became bitter when my neck and my wrists were not adorned

With the intricate brilliance

And my husband's love, scorned

I began to suffocate from the tight clothing I wore

My intentions to have eyes focus on my body's undulations

And movements because I loved how my curves

Could draw attention

And I became anorexic

Beauty on the outside, sickness on the inside like pure contradiction

What does my salvation mean to me?

I am now free from the tyranny of a world that wants to rule me

Men who want to bed me

And women who want to defeat me

I don't want to spend my life in competition

With my sisters, my kindred spirits, no other women

I don't want to down another drink

Just to hide the guilt of allowing

Yet another perverted, disgusting, non-committal man to touch me

I don't want to put another line up my nose

So I can stem this pain, emotional

I just want to be at peace 

With this woman I have come to terms with being

I don't buy into the hype that I have to be one way or another-

Because I find I am typical in every regard

In that I am like a rubix cube of many personalities

Sometimes serious, sometimes funny

My best pictures are taken candidly

Most times even keeled, sometimes on the brink of insanity,

With a tenacity to be better than my yesterday me,

Sometimes spiritual, despite my humanity.

A multi-faceted umpteen carat diamond-

Bravery, femininity, weakness and strength my mixture 

The Curse of Adam

Recently all these things have come to light

This new process of learning called common core has got everybody in a fight

Like, we were so used to the old way of learning

That any threat to the way things were just is unacceptable

We always say "things ain't like they used to be 

In my day we had it so great"

Yet day in day out we work to give our kids a better life than what we had

Does nobody see the contradiction or the twist in the logic

Other than me?

I mean, the way that my mind works is

I heard both sides of this current hot topic

and I asked myself

What is the big deal?

Not because I don't care, or because I'm in agreement

I just like to question everything

And find out the answers

And then make a determination

So what if my children learn something in a different way than I did?

As long as they know Truth

Can't no standards of secular education twist that

They can do what it takes to better their education

If it makes them viable for college, or a global job market

Like it says, then whether or not

I can do the math as good as them

Isn't really that much of an issue

I can learn it if they can too

But I can also argue for the other side

I'm American, I'm good at arguing

But I have argued myself until I was blue in the face against it

And aint' nothing changed

Not only that but like

People got so twisted over public education

They don't want teachers to rule our children

But they want them to be responsible for a large part of the raising process

To me it's kind of like a double standard

I mean something has got to give

And I sat and pondered
We become educated so that we can have a job
We work at that job in order to pay for our education
Supposedly we better ourselves in the process
But I have yet to see any proof of this
Spend most of our lives in some type of system
Education then work then retirement stipends...

Like, Americans in general are a slave to mass consumption

We work just to assume loans and credit

And become slaves to our debt

My 'dream house' is still literally a dream

Because until I can pay the bank off

It don't belong to me

I sometimes wonder

What it would be like

to disappear

Leave this madness called life and run away to the woods

or the mountains

Even if I do my best to live a holy life

The money I spend on everyday things goes to one side or the other in this fight

Starbucks funnels money to those who are anti-traditional marriage

A well known fact but Christians be buying this overpriced coffee by the gallon

It don't even taste that good

But I haven't had Starbucks in a minute

Gas is expensive

Big corporations have faulty and immoral business practices

Some of them even put money into the hands of those connected with terrorists

And this is my legacy, my contribution as well

Because I choose to buy

Whatever they sell

But this culture is so prevalent you really can't run from it

We just have to realize our impact on one another

is so inextricably connected.

Due to the rise in the usage of social media outlets

All of a sudden everyone is an expert in something

But nobody cares to dig deeper than the surface

We just want instant gratification

See! This guy agrees with me, I'ma retweet him

So all my followers can know and see that I am validated

Wikipedia and Google; Internet the information Superhighway 

It's a shame that we are fine with just settling for the rhetoric

It's sad when we can't think deeper than how something will affect us on a micro scale.

We are willfully ignorant

Choose a side because from where we stand

It looks like there's a difference

Politicians be good at feeding off our emotions

On a grander scale

We all just need salvation

From this beast that we have created

From others,

Ourselves

Our way of thinking.

Realize that there is someone higher 

a purpose much deeper

Than Me.

My Voice

Hear Me

I will not be silenced because of your indignation

The cadence of My Voice

Places emphasis on the situation

The inflection of My Words

Spoken a reflection

of my inner soul

A heart once broken

now mended

And whole.
So I speak clear
Though others may jeer
I will not be dismayed
I will speak with intent sharp enough
To wipe that jeer off their face

I speak my truth

Though it may be of no consequence to you

I am cognizant of my audience

I must relate importance

And power without dominance

Forgive my brusqueness

But I must insist on being persistent-

My Voice

It waivers and becomes thin not by choice

At others it booms high in rejoice

Sometimes even I am caught unaware of what's inside

Not that I purposely hide

Anything in the recesses of my  mind

It's just my heart decides when it will confide

The message inside

Express it outside by- 

my Voice.

When I put on a show of bravado

The timbre of my voice

May be somewhat low

But still you can hear it shaking though

Like at times when I'm trying to talk myself into feeling-

Braver than I really feel

My heart sometimes needs a pep talk before my true nature is revealed 

With my voice I roar in triumph

After crying and griping my way through trials

Obstacles sometimes look like Goliath

But I can be one of those hard headed chicks

Somewhat defiant

And at times I have a 'never say die' attitude

While at others, I would rather curl up in bed 

and let someone else just handle it

...my voice?

Is so funny at times

Like I can say the same word once, or twice

and they be sounding completely different like day and night
Sometimes ravaged by angst
While at others I am giving thanks
Like when I call to You.
On my knees it felt like I could never get up again at times
Only to now look back and say
I guess it wasn't so bad I mean
Look at where I am today
my voice
Drowned out by a simple whisper
Reassurance that You will always be here
You will not leave me or forsake me
I am with a hope, a comforter
You know the thoughts you have for me
Never evil; always peace
No matter what there remains a promise just for me
my voice
Reveals you are strongest when I am weak
Pure Truth I will always aim to speak

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Meditate on Your Words so I can come to grips

With the understanding that by you I find strength

I am equipped

my voice

Does nothing of any importance

If I don't speak in accordance 

With your love; some may put on a good performance

But it's all just lip service if they come

of their own volition.

I come in peace that surpasses all understanding

Lay down this sword my whole life I've been brandishing

Because now I know...

Words cut like scissors through paper

Walls become insurmountable, wounds become deeper

Souls once full of vigor now languishing

All because WE chose to speak while
 lacking the desire for self-examining.

my voice.
Will be used to bring glory to You.

It will be like a beacon for your light to shine through.
By the time my life is finished
I hope that by me they can hear you