Black Friday

Black Friday represents sadness to me
Just regular people who can't afford to live in luxury

wait all year to finally purchase their dream TV.
And who can blame them when society

constantly reiterates to me

that in order to be somebody 
I have to have nice things
I don't blame them for lining up at crazy hours

 to purchase something that they feel

will make their family's lives a little bit better

I've been there
I come from nothing, just wanted something...
Once upon a time if someone offered me those deals

I'd accept I wouldn't even think twice
The problem I have is when they place more value on material

objects over somebody's life.
Or how the stores place more value
on profits over people
But that's just the way the story goes,
I guess.
I find it sickening the way that they profit off of the less fortunate
They dangle a carrot in front of their faces 
and watch and laugh as people get stomped on in their places of business
What about the employees who have to face danger?
They don't get paid or trained for that
Need to get these folks some tactical gear

and prepare them for combat
Man I love capitalism I love free markets
But my Christianity won't let me be okay 
with the greed of corporations
I know that the love of money 
is the root of all evil

Black Friday crowds to me look like 
the beginnings of social upheaval
I see how they do it
Treat the masses like cattle
In my mind it's a battle
Like who's really to blame?
Like-it's really insane
Is our desire for prestige something innate
Or is it something we receive 
through human interaction-

Something communicated?
Just wait a second and let me relate my case 
a little bit more clearly
As we delve into this phenomenon 
based upon consumerism occurring yearly
See why I believe it is a spiritual attack against humanity
The day after we are giving thanks for our lives
We buy into the lie that 
without a new discounted TV

we are so deprived
Everything on sale at least 40% off
Don't you see you NEED these things
Don't miss out or your loss!
Don't nothing in this whole world come for free
This coming from a girl who once lived in the streets
Even food out the garbage can comes with a price
Leave you sick and disgusted
With the weight of your life
These companies don't really sell things for cheaper
They were put on the market
With the discounts in mind

Now deeper in debt Grim Reaper breathing down your neck

While they play the game smart

they hold all the cards
Jack up the prices to make the biggest profit

That's how the 'selling monster' was really designed
Then 'lower' the tag for Black Friday

and watch all the people eagerly run to the lines
It's a marketing ploy.

Face smashed against the glass

like all dignity destroyed
They would never do something just to make your life better
They want to sell as much of their product at the end of the year to meet their quota
Look at the fistfights taking place over things
Look at the feeling of emptiness still lingering
It doesn't matter how many computers and iPads you walk away with
Your life is still dependent on things that will fade away
Next year your state of the art cell phone will be obsolete
Your bank account diminished Black Friday repeat
Caught in a nightmare never finished
Because a life of materialism lacks value, intrinsic.

Woman

There is beauty in your scars

Like a road map to your heart

Tear tracks on your face only seem to make

your smile all that brighter

You'd been laughed at

Scorned

Talked about and lied on

Men have raised their hands against you

and emotionally hurt you

to the point they almost killed you

Still you find the ability to laugh, trust, be vulnerable

I admire you

For so long I was covered in hardness

Bitterness had turned me into a callous

and unfeeling person

Now, I am Woman

You showed me that it's okay to feel

You made me comfortable with my emotions

You said, it's okay to be hurt

but don't let it make you into a hurt person-

forever

 

You could be so hard on me

Sometimes outright mean

But if it had not been for you

I would not be a better woman times infinity

You helped me to attain a level of maturity

Many take half a lifetime of trial and error to ever see

You have shaped me into the beauty that you see today

I owe you more than my gift of words could ever say

You stood by me

Even when no one else would

You said "God still has His hand on you"

When nobody else could see how He possibly could

I know you are proud of me

I can see it in your eyes.

I am better prepared

for the trials of life because you cared

enough to put me before yourself at times

I now know what it means to sacrifice

You acted hard,

but you always had

the biggest and most open heart

toward me

My life would be miserable

If I never had met you

 

I know you act crazy just to put others at ease

In that regard you are just like me

In every other aspect of your personality

You are so far above everyone I have ever met

But you never once looked down on me

If anything, you became everything

To everyone

Showed us that you see things from our

Perspective, like you reallly understand us

Only to have us change our own perception

and make us believe we had what it took

inside of us all along

 

I grew because you never left me at

the level that you found me at

Even when I grew comfortable,

You said get up, let's go some more

You never gave up on encouraging me

That's why I have the ability to see

The very best in every other soul I meet

You are as strong as Deborah

As worshipful as Miriam

Regal as Esther

Hard working as Martha

Eager to hear Jesus like Mary was

I can't believe you have no idea.

Meditation

 

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Psalms 49:3 My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding.

Josh 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; but you shall meditate therein day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall have good success.

We bombard our minds with tv shows and music

Because we are afraid of what's inside our own heads

Thoughts about death

Thoughts about life

Guilt over whose bed we slept in last night

Our environment becomes noisier the more we seek peace and respite

We say we don't idolize things over God

But sacrifice is not a part of our daily life or repertoire

We want to give

Only what it doesn't hurt to give

We say we want to live like HE did

Willing to sacrifice our very lives for our friends

But we struggle with crucifixion of our flesh

We say Thy will be done, and yet-

We say one thing and do the opposite

We want comfort

We want easy

Living in this cookie cutter

Drive through

Have it your way

Microwave age

Makes it hard for anybody

to understand patience or waiting for anything

Distraction is the highest level of enlightenment

one can hope to obtain

in this attention-starved,

materialistic day and age.

The harder we fight,

the easier it is to forget the sound of His voice

Whatever direction our feet move

is ordained by Him or our own choice.

So, does it really matter, what I reveal about myself?

I stand before you today to say that it does.

I was the chief sinner

more undeserving of Grace than anyone else

Yet as far as I had fallen

God raised me above the ashes of

a life I had committed to nothing but destruction

and-

Today I have life and joy and peace in abundance

I am not worthy, but God is

Why exult myself?

A mere sinner saved by Grace?

Why not give the glory to the One in the most Holy Place?

His Holiness is beautiful, it stems from His love

So rather than my flesh and my skin

I will wear His Blood

They can see me

But not receive me

I have nothing to give.

I had it my way

I found it lacking

I gave up my death so that I can live.

So, I will meditate on His Word

I may not know the latest celebrity scandal,

That doesn't mean my life is not fulfilled and joyful

I will speak life into a faithless situation

Because I know that my Words have power when spoken by Faith in Him

I may not know the latest artists/movies/songs

But I can find comfort and wisdom

in the Books of Proverbs and Psalms

I may not have a high paying job to go with my degree

But I know from His word that He will provide for me

Therefore my lips shall keep from profanity

My body reserved for the work of the one who created me

My thoughts are made to be brought under subjection

In hopes of attaining a spiritual ascension.

 

 

Be Somebody

'Be Somebody' That's what they all say

but what it takes to be 'that person' varies from day to day

Be this, be that, but according to what 'they' want me to be

I started off as a mere nobody

And I am so thankful for my Testimony

because once you lived in a gutter

You lose the desire/ability to look down on anybody

I went from being a nobody, to trying to be somebody

according to all the things that they told me I should be

and I wound up being scorned none the less because

it's impossible to fit a size 29 into a size 3

I am just me

I did not live up to their expectations,

therefore I become nothing more than a complication

And just like that I was removed from their equation

And just like that I was a nobody once again

It takes "HARD WORK" they scream

to be somebody

Man I know, they got so many self-help books

written on that very subject

and they must be right, because they make money

off of others who see the world

through eyes that long to be

above the mundane

They long to have authority

When we try to determine what makes us 'worth it'

according to 'their' voices

without any kind of soul searching

we lose our identity in the process

and become good for nothing

I have found, that anybody can be 'somebody'

but it takes something special to have the bravery to be 'nobody'.

No one else can be this nobody, but me

Only I can make me decrease so He can increase

If I'm somebody of my own making

everyone will only see me

I am nothing

He is all

The greatest part of me is the Call

Call to worship

Call to praise

Call to bless that wonderful Name

You go be somebody

I tried that and found

that just isn't for me.

Vultures

Vultures circling sailing on the hot wind of the

Talking heads on television

Telling not one single person

One single thing worth knowing

Subterfuge is the name of

The new information game

And the birds keep chirping only way to know what's happening is by turning off the media and tuning instead into the minds

of conspiracy theorists

once deemed crazy now seen as truth tellers or prophets

And the blood shed and the violence are only symptoms of the real diagnoses

Evil given sovereign rule

Over our hearts think we can play with fire without any repercussions

But it's down to the wire and the head if this nation has got a serious concussion

seems like nobody's listening but all are watching

What's the answer they ask?

It's quite simple:

Relativism got us twisted

We dabble with sin and expect not to suffer any type of punishment or consequence

We blurred the lines between black and white  in hopes of appearing to be people living right

Where up is down and crooked is straight

We got so confused by trying to manipulate

truth into a lie

and falsehood into real life

We have become hard hearted

Some are just apathetic

We are collectively a people not good for anything but to be vomited onto the pavement

Just wait, we haven't even begun to see the likes of judgment

That's why we keep pushing further and testing our limits

Now science says it can protect us from the ramifications of formication

No fear is present when there lacks consequence

No need for morals or common sense

Instead life's like a free for all

People gorging on the pleasures of sin

But just like Adam and Eve in the garden

When the time comes we will all stand before Him in judgment

Either be told well done my faithful servant

Or left in shock fumbling for excuses and stuttering

Fires of hell seem so far away

The more people see how much more accepted it is to play

With boundaries and standards

Removing distinctions

Blind lead the blind

Man is convinced but still ignorant

I cry

I weep

all they see are gnashing teeth

They abuse love

They see good in evil

But their souls are not past retrieval

God help us

Keeping up with the Jones's

Going into debt for luxury cars and Rolex watches

All the while your happiness can be measured not by moments experienced

More like the quickness of elapsed time between purchases

And my heart is bleeding for those who are slowly digging their own grave 

just to see what it tastes 

like to be a part of the fake type

You could have had it all a nice wife that respects you

Children 

a slice of the American dream apple pie

Instead you chose to delve into the nightmare

brought on by the love of money now on welfare 

but you still front like you have stacks like lil Wayne 

claiming you can make it rain but all you know is shame 

because you were not able to maintain 

your life on even the simplest level.

Greed is the bastard love child of envy and lust

And like a vicious cycle this beast must feed upon itself

in order to sustain the degree of emptiness 

it ultimately and inevitably creates

Like a vacuum suction all reason dissipates 

as you try in vain to create a reality that you have been tricked 

into believing you must participate 

in in order to be happy

Mind control through the media, music, magazines and superstars you all want to be like

Don't you see that everything in existence comes with a price?

Wasted young Disney princesses now considered whores and devil mistresses drugged out beyond their wildest dreams and no one can hear their screams 

yet we teach our daughters to consider them role models?

I really don't follow when their bodies are so thin skin sagging 

but the airbrushing covers up the flaws 

and Photoshop catches what the makeup missed 

makes these girls into pictures of pure perfection 

2Dimensional 

seductive yet vapid facial expressions 

yet thousands of young girls and women suffer from anorexia and bulimia because they are told that those images are what society considers to be perfection?

We desire the wrong things.

Rather than trying to become the best me that I can be

I am conditioned to place an outward perspective on life 

and seek what the village believes I should desire and, why.

And it's pointless in the end because one will never find fulfillment 

in the hot and endless pursuit of another man's purpose.

The Jones's can keep their fine things and all that extravagance

I want what's mine in abundance

I may not be as perfect as an airbrushed fake photograph

But you calling that reality just makes me laugh.

Mirthless smiles full of pain and

A world full of nothing but broken promises and disdain.

Don't be alarmed when the world passes you by

It's not your fault you got seduced by the lie

Your life tried to grab your attention repeatedly 

but you were too busy craning your neck at the tv.

And now you got one foot in the grave while the other flounders uselessly 

up to your neck in what you should have, could have would have, been;

 on top of the debt

Don't be trapped by the ploys of a soulless media driven by mass consumption 

it's an addiction

Instead be a free thinker 

Your failures your own

Don't carry another individuals affliction 

Jesus did that for you so you could have salvation

Stop doing and being what television tells you to be

Stop buying into and being controlled by subliminal messages of duplicity

See if there was truly nothin wrong in this world

Then the meaning of the word pain would be unnecessary 

Coming up with terms like slut shaming and instead branding her a real lady

That's not the way our sex was meant to be

We withdraw from the natural order of things more and more 

Yet rush toward 'natural' ingredients in the grocery store

The relativism has got you so lost and confused

Bad behavior and sin should be corrected and forgiven not excused

The liberal agenda pushers disguised as angels of light

Really they are nothing but ravening wolves inside

Mind control of the masses who are too stupid to break free

So I pray for God to intervene

I don't live a life full of rules and oppression

I do have boundaries not worth crossing

I've been there before I've tried it your way

All it brought was heartache and pain

Now I have joy where there used to be sadness

Emptiness used to fill me my thoughts only madness

Club hopping new dude on my side every week

Oppressive rap music filled my ears making me 

feel like I was really something to be 

dropping it low for some low life who only considered me to be a ho

Get in tune with what I'm telling you

This is not the life that God intended for you

Feel like an outsider like nobody understands you?

He does and I've been there so I do too

Gaga doesn't know what it feels like to be different all she knows is she can control your thoughts and emotions

Demon possessed music artists fill up your though processes making you think that you're truly free in very sense

But nobody ever gained eternal rewards or true happiness by sellin their souls and ability to think for themselves

You are not in competition with anybody else

You were made to be you

Reckless

They used to call me reckless
But today they say im blessed
I just say my life's been changed by my savior Jesus
They say the lower you have fallen
The higher you have to rise
I say that the mercy is even greater
You just have to see it from His eyes
No matter what He thinks of me
Yet there still remains 
 Those who disagree
About my worthy, my value, my place.
They disagree that He would send me on His mission
But like a train I barrel on with tunnel vision 
I think about my past now in a different spirit
If it weren't for where I've been 
Would this still be my present?
I thank Him for my blessings
but I also thank him for my trials
because through my hardest times
I know He cradled me like a child
Today my testimony keeps me in check
Where others only see a lost cause
I see a precious soul worthy of heaven
I can't imagine what I would be
If God had not stepped in
Glad that I can empathize with brokenness
I won't apologize if my past doesn't meet your expectations 
I'm angry at the way the world is blinded by deception 
But faithful in the meaning of my Jesus resurrection 
I want to be the type of person
Who inspires someone else to have a life worth living
As iron sharpens iron
Lord let me be used by you
As a light
as your salt
as a safe haven
as a refuge 

My City Sleeps at Night

My city sleeps at night
No longer are cars impatiently revving
their engines at the intersection stop lights.
Instead yellow and orange blink incessantly
but it's calming rather than exciting.
There's a lull in the air
like smoke in the atmosphere
it's thick like a blanket-
and almost nobody is there
But a few passing cars
With loud music blaring out the window
from the stereo
I catch a bit of the tune but the words escape me though.
Peaceful.
Such a stark juxtaposition to just a few hours ago
Like in a play where the setting
remains the same
but the general mood and feeling has changed
The sky is dark blue but not really
The color is almost impossible to describe
but the stars are bright white
as they softly glimmer on this summer night
The air is warm to the touch and heavy with moisture
I feel if I stick out my tongue I could even taste the water
And for a moment I am completely grounded and rooted in the present.
I like to dream even while I'm awake
I'm the type of person who sees limitless potential for every moment to be changed from ordinary to something great
:breathe:
But right now in this moment
It feels like everything is nearly perfect
I don't feel too cold or too warm.
But there's a charge in the air
I barely feel reverberating
like right before a storm.
The only thing that would improve my mood
is if the clouds let loose and let the rain just pour.

Train

Gotta catch this train, before it passes on by,
past this town, past my stop and straight out of my life.
It's like a morgue where I stand,
because the winter is near
but I wait patiently for my train to arrive.

I count the trees just to pass the time,
but their stoic and fearless appearance only reminds me that I am alone
and completely unsure of myself.
If only you were here with me,
maybe we two could show the same solidarity,
as the group of trees that sway this way and that
together as one in the tumultuous winter winds.

I inhale the bitter, freezing air,
and exhale bursts of smoke, as if my insides are really on fire,
and I am only imagining that the air around me is so very cold.
I gaze about at the bleakness of the day, and I cringe as I see that I am all alone.

Will this train ever get here?
I am out on a limb, the nagging and constant pain in my heart
just a reminder of the giant leap of faith I have taken, without even a glimpse of what kind of landing I will meet.

I fear the worst, I am too late, I have missed that train…
But in the distance I hear, such an uplifting sound
A whistle resounds and echoes across the cold, still air.
It is here, and I will ride it wherever it shall take me.

Hope

Hope glimmers in the distance

past the dark and dreary murk that has amassed over time

Confusion turns to problem solving 

and I wonder

Why was I so worried in the first place?

Sure the journey was long

and arduous

but what is a life without struggle?

Through resistance, strength is built

and tasks that were once extremely difficult become

somewhat bearable.

We learn responsibility through making the right choices.

By choosing to do what is right, 

we also learn accountability, are you listening?

The fundamentals of life is learning,

and applying your knowledge to your life;

in a way that is productive and not cruel.

Try to do right by yourself and others,

apply the golden rule to your application of knowledge,

and you will be that glimmer of hope

to someone as mine is to me.

Strive for excellence

resist your defeat

Life is what you make of it and I live mine full of hope and grace.