I am Savage

I’m faded, so dazed, my head is so twisted

What am I feeling, conviction? Confusion?

I often wonder how some came to their conclusions

But fear asking questions for the price is retribution

Become a castoff from the island that is barely

Even inhabited

Those that keep tight reigns of they mouth from the savages

Savages being those like you and me

My outside may look alright

But inwardly, I am a hot mess

I am full of words in my head

Feel my mouth bout ready to rip

Release my mind that is pregnant with

A possible can of worms 

if I so choose 

to let them loose

Word is born

I know the course that will ensue…

Nobody is perect it is all about varying degrees

Of what is okay to you vs me

But it seems to be just an illusion at times

Because vanity and pride is just a face value lie

But the attitude behind it all reflects to the outside what is inside

Or so one would think…

But once again its just a matter of faith and not allowing

The various facets of myself interfere

With who I am desperately trying to become.

I am some, but He is one, and it may be hard but the future comes

And presents itself in a heartbeat then its gone

And I glance with remorse at the past and feel overwhelmed

With joy, succumb to the relief that the battle may still be won

A Pound of Flesh

The other stuff was easy in comparison 
 things just got a little harder;
 another week of sacrificing my repentance 
at an Altar and 
I guess I'm somewhat jarred, my vision 
 somewhat marred 
but I love Him 
I'm persistent 
I'm barreling and jumping
over these impediments
 because they try to keep us separated; 
The physical material I handed off to burn
Thinking I could hold this down no problem unconcerned; 
but now it comes down to the nitty 
saying things so gritty 
really feeling inconsistent 
when reality sets in
and now my flesh decides to rear its head 
its not like I can stuff it in a coffin 
or prevent it 
from appearing 
in my mind because it is a part of me and I a part of it. 
We know He is the Doctor but this incision being made 
 is not done with great precision 
its like skin is being ripped 
out with the flesh that lays beneath it 
and instead of healing properly it gets somewhat infected 
and I'm clenching up my fingertips and screaming 
'go ahead God, take it!' 
But its bittersweet goodbye 
as I part with yet another piece of I 
And I know I'm that much better off without it in my life